dismal

[diz-muhl] –adjective


1. causing gloom or dejection; gloomy; dreary; cheerless; melancholy

2. my moooooooooooood; bleagh

mike perry

you - are - amazing

early morning

i was thinking more and i am really going to apply for a credit card while im looking into that bank account. not so much to go off spending money but to start building up some kind of credit. i think itll pay off well for me to get ahead on adult matters.

and on the subject of money and spending it, i need to get some nice work clothes. i keep realizing and ignoring the fact that i have no clothes to wear to work in the event i have a job in the near future. how ridiculous is that? a closet full of clothes and no work clothes . . . i would.

heck yes

first stencil by me. technically second but first by me for me

depeche mode was yesterday and oh man . . . best mini concert EVER! no pictures, but it was so great and absolutely amazing that it was free. so thank you jimmy kimmel. i feel like running today to stretch out those sore feet and legs. and i washed my running shoes, so im all ready for a run.

i havent put up one of my outfits yet. so i will next time i get myself ready. for now i think this high-waisted skirt wins it.

h'okay

so im going to rave about my halloween ideas. here they go:






all equally awesome and i wouldve pulled them off flawlessly. duhhh. but i am so going to be something completely amazing that needs another half. being oscar <3 and we are going to be THE cutest.

its omg worthy . . . and its a surprise ^__^

im back

took the weekend off to enjoy the heat and just not do much. back to babysitting tomorrow and i am not so excited to be up at 9am again. and i still havent been payed for the last two weeks so its a good thing i dont have a phone. i filed my taxes too, actually. im excited to be getting that check in a few weeks. almost 100$ haha

anways, here goes some ill photos i cant get over

plus

oh my gosh so my idea . . . i wish i wasnt so lazy or id have my jeans shorts already. anyways, im totally referring to this when i finish mine.

I AM GOING TO SEE DEPECHE MODE








OH MY GOD

so i really hope that there are two depeche mode tickets left because i NEED to see them. i am so excited already that im pretty sure ill have a little depressed fit if i dont get the tickets. and it would be the first time oscar and i have gone to a show since idk when. ive missed those nights in the crowd singing along with him . . .

and i cant wait for friday to completely unwind at the beach with some great friends. i need a good day out to just be. and be at the beach at that. i want to find some more good shells for my collection too.

and for my outfit of the day id like to say oh my god to these girls who are living out my style much better than i do.





i am SO jealous of those thin of thigh

so i should be asleep already, but my mind is racing with thoughts. im really fighting my tired eyes looking at the screen at this time of night/morning. i want to go to the gym or paint on a canvas or be half asleep enjoying a road trip or with my amazing bf tickling him to sleep


but im here. and i have none of that and i want to dream about it but i never do. id like to have it my way for once. completely my way anyways . . .

i dont want to be alone tonight-- any night. im so tired of being tired.

i really need to get to the library and start reading again.

i need to get all my financial aid in already.

i need to learn spanish like now.

i need to fix my skin already.

i need a bathing suit for friday.

i need a bank account and a phone.

i need a job actually.


i need a lot of things i guess

so its funny that i just wrote a little rant/rave about the past and time in general. when now my rant/rave is solely on the past.

i understand what has happened helped me to learn in any account but it isnt easy to get over. there are so many parts of my past that are still in the back of my mind and reoccur in dreams and come up when a similar event presents itself. im not sure if im a bad person for not letting go or if im a weak person for letting them get to me and stick with me or if im stupid and am holding onto things for no reason. it isnt so much that i care a lot now but the thoughts make me to cringe and thinking about any bad memory gets me feeling sick.

maybe part of me thinks if i let it go it makes it ok or makes it not matter. that i dont care because things are better now but really im fairly certain ive always been a good person and not really deserving bad things. and it hurts.

ive almost gotten to the point where i hate memories. i dont want to hold onto momentos from the good times because they remind me of the bad. im so ridiculous. . .

what the fuck though. and ive never known why

you know that little saying:

the past is history, the future is a mystery, and the present is a gift


i am so tired of reading that on myspace. as if people have nothing else to say to everyone. im guessing its just me but i think its a pretty lame cliche-resembling phrase that is oddly meaningless. i dont know why anyone would use this one phrase to convey any philosophy of life. i think its lazy and sort of half-assed.

but i may just be nitpicking

ive been trying to think of something to write about for a while now but i got nothing. i decided since ive named my blog 'no, thanks' i ought to explain my thoughts on it. its sort of my humor to be blunt and sarcastic and i decided to keep it real, if you will.

its my way of saying no, thanks to all the crap thats out there. no, thanks to what everyone else tells us based on what they want us to know or like or dislike.

just no, thanks. you know?

april fools

some fashion bloopers for you. hopefully it was some funny friends pranking them on april fools day. yikes











what the heck victoria . . . i usually love her dressed but that was just so bad