Thursday, August 13, 2009

some reflection

i was so irritable earlier i was afraid to get on my own nerves. what an angry, bored mood that kept fueling itself.

so to get over that i was thinking about what my style is. i mean, my style fashion-wise. i watched this video earlier about taylor momsen's outfits she cant live without or whatever. she really does dress like a hooker for the most part. and i have to say i was wearing vintage slips years before she was so lol on her. anyways, i was thinking about how ive kind of been evolving clothing-wise and i wondered what my style was and is now.

i mean, of course i remember what it was. i was first inspired by those disney channel movies Zenon and Stepsister from Planet Weird. that sounds hilarious, i know, but those movies were the ish ok? in 1999& 2000, i watched these movies and it truly inspired me. zenon was just super awesome with her futuristic stlye going on and the stepsister, who was an alien, went to high school and ended up being the cool one and blahblahblah. the part that inspired me from that movie was her over-layering of clothing that she said was "to protect her essence" because she was on earth. and as a bright nine year-old i was completely in awe of how amazing that line was.

actually, i think i did coin that in high school with my semi-punk rock layering and brave choices. more people talked about me and knew me than i was aware of and even teachers remembered me for being unique and bright. people would stop me and compliment me and i was called everything from a hipster to someone worthy of being japanese...

and then senior year i went through some ridiculous personal things and it was like my style died and was reformed to this lazy kind of casual hippie. i mean, i would say i am a lazy hippie but it was weird that i now looked like some normal person.

so now almost two years later, mostly because i have no money for clothes, its like i have no style at all. im still kind of the lazy hippie but kind of trendy? i kind of hate it a little bit but i guess im not used to it. and i bet it comes with age too, but im drawn more to what is chic or elegant than to the protection of my essence. i mean, i could do both. im going to do both...

i think id like to protect my essence once again. essence does require protection; afterall, what would we be without our essence?